Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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