if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
