You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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