So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
