he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
