wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
