There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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