just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
