I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've blown a few things in my day
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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