its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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