yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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