I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
