I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
