Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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