Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
