Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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