I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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