Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
