i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
