How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
