do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
