I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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