why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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