There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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