not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
