I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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