his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
