so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
