Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
