Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
