there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
