he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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