Dual....:-)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
