no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
