Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
