I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
