I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
