New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
