i permit you to call me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
