If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
