Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
