If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
