Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
