Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
