i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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