My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
