Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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