at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
