i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
