Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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