...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
