none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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