i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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