I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize