If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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