she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
