she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
