I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
