I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
