Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
